Cocktails are served. The opening ceremony commences. The weekend has officially begun, and there is no going back now.
The ancient rites of passage are administered to new Lamers with all the solemnity the hour and alcohol levels permit.
Day 2 — El Chaparral
Friday 9 October 2026
The Lamers are poured into a stretch limousine and pointed in the approximate direction of the golf course.
Tee off at the renowned El Chaparral course, a venue entirely wasted on the Lamers but appreciated nonetheless.
A banquet of staggering magnificence, each course more unnecessary than the last, culminating in the sacred ritual of pints of Tennents at Bar None, the undisputed spiritual home of Rangers supporters on the Costa del Sol.
Day 3 — Golf Torrequebrada & Presentation
Saturday 10 October 2026
White-gloved chauffeurs ferry the Lamers to the golf course in vehicles of questionable cleanliness but unquestionable grandeur.
Tee off at Golf Torrequebrada — day two, stakes higher, form considerably worse.
Award ceremony.
Feasting in Benalmádena old town, after which the Lamers descend upon Coyote's strip bar with the energy of men who have absolutely nothing to prove and yet feel compelled to prove it anyway.
Day 4 — Departure
Sunday 11 October 2026
The Lamers disperse into the harsh light of reality, dreams shattered, wallets empty, dignity questionable.